In 2009, I was feeling pretty stuck at age 40. From the age of 20, I had spent about ten years living in an ashram focused on meditation and trying to get enlightened. Life brought me out of the ashram at age 30 and shoved me into the world of trying to make a living. Even though I put in a very good effort, a part of me still resisted being in the world.
I was a successful wedding photographer for four years and, just when I was starting ot make good money, we moved. So I started all over as a nature photographer and tried hard for three years without making almost any money at all. I relied on my partner for money.
The feeling was one of failure: I failed at my spiritual goals of attaining enlightenment, and I was failing at my material goals of making a living doing something I loved. I was not living up to my full potential.
Just after this session with Byron Katie, I quit my job as a nature photographer and I started working for a company designing their website, organizing their products, designing product labels for them, and photographing for them. This was my “Home Depot,” as it turns out. When they were unable to continue paying me, I quit working fo them just as I had quit working for myself as a nature photographer. This session brought me a lot of freedom.
Today, I do my best to balance long-term interests such as spiritual development and business growth with practical day-to-day thinking, making decisions that are important in the short term. Not having to always be loyal to my ideals has become a freeing balance for me. Ironically, it has allowed me to pursue my ideals at the same time. The feeling is that my head is still in the clouds, but my feet are more on the ground.
